Tuesday 30 November 2010

So, You Think You're Funny?



One of my pet hates (an ever-increasing list, it seems, as I become a grumpier old man :) ) is the 'you can do or be anything you want' mantra which has produced (perhaps aided by reality TV such as 'X Factor' and 'Britains got talent') a belief amongst some young people that they can be anything they want, and can do anything they want - but without the application of any effort.

Every now and again there's some home video footage shown on TV of a present-day star 'before they were famous', emphasising that 'overnight success' can take some considerable time . . .

Which leads, in a roundabout way, to a news story from my local paper, featuring a 53 year old chap called John Duffy.  You may ever have heard of him - I certainly hadn't.

His 'overnight success' is a very successful Twitter page which has led to a book deal with a publisher.

But Dave's overnight success - partly due to an element of luck - has followed on from a part-time career of submitting one-liner gags to various TV and radio shows.

His latest creation eclipses those one-liners.

It features the 'tweets' of someone who - apparently - is something of a celebrity: Cheryl Kerl.  She's Geordie who comments knowledgeably on many things.

For example, on cyber attacks:

"Willyam Hague's wurried aboot cybah attacks, aye itz a wurry aall reet buh leik if the Daleks torn up wor propah stuffed pet"

The book's out in time for Christmas, titled: "Woath it?  Coase Ah Am, Pet"

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Woath-Coase-Ah-am-Pet/dp/1444715151/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1291121385&sr=8-1

It even has a chapter entitled "Grumpy Erld Cheryl'.


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Monday 29 November 2010

Photographs Photography and Photographer



A quick mention of one of my 'imaginary' friends, one of the many who I have more contact with on the internet than I do in real life (aka IRL).

She's Helen Rushton, and - perhaps rare for a photographer - turns her hand, and lens, to many types of photography.

These include:

http://www.seelifethroughthelens.com/

See LIFE through the LENS isn't just about buying professional, limited edition fine art prints, you can also join us on photography workshops in Dorset and Hampshire to learn how to create stunning images yourself.
The photography courses aren't about the latest must have technology or how to change images in photo editing, they are about creating fantastic images, in camera, by using some simple techniques that you will master through the course. The photography workshops are open to both beginner photographers looking for help on how to make the most of your camera through to more experienced photographers who are looking for stunning new places to capture in Hampshire and Dorset; everyone is welcome.

"I had a fantastic day out with Helen taking landscape photos. I learnt a lot at a pace that suited me and had a lot of fun as well. Helen listened to what I wanted and tailored the shots to cover my requests. She did all the driving leaving me to concentrate on the photography. She even let me loose on some of her filters! Thank you Helen for such a great day and for sharing your wealth of knowledge, I hope to book with you again in the future." Elaine, a recent participant on See Life Workshops
For fine art prints use the galleries to view images and easily purchase various sizes and effects to hang in your own home or workplace.
In addition we are producing a series of How to Photograph... weather-proof guides for you to purchase to get those shots even when on a tight schedule and don't have the time to join us on a photography workshop. Visit the How to... section for more information. See Life Through The Lens is also pleased to be able to offer gift vouchers, calendars and other gifts.




http://whippersnappers.me.uk/

Whippersnappers will be running professional underwater baby & toddler Photography sessions at Fleming Park on Monday 22nd December, Tuesday 23rd December and Wednesday 24th December between 10 – 11am.


http://oursecretboudoir.co.uk/

Boudoir Photography is an intimate and sensual way to photograph women of all shapes and sizes, it’s fun and flirtatious and a great way for you to celebrate your body in a tasteful and relaxed setting.
At Our Secret Boudoir we pride ourselves on providing a very warm and comfortable studio set up in a private house where you can rest assured you will not be disturbed during your photo shoot. Having been on boudoir shoots ourselves, we are very much aware of the hang ups and concerns you may have prior to your shoot and always offer a pre shoot consultation to ensure we aknow what you are looking for from your results and ensure that you are prepared and relaxed before and during your shoot allowing us to give you the fantastic boudoir shoot experience you are looking for.
Hair and makeup is provided by Emma, a professionally qualified beautician who is really friendly and absolutely wonderful. Emma will listen to your ideas and create stunning hair and make up looks for you – stuck for inspiration? Don’t worry Emma has lots of fantastic ideas to compliment all ladies to their best.
Photography is provided by Helen, a professionally qualified and experienced photographer. Not being a perfect size 10 herself, Helen fully understands the worries ladies may go through before their shoot and can promise that she will help pose you in the most flattering ways to suit you and your body shape – everyone can look absolutely gorgeous through Helen’s lens!



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Thursday 18 November 2010

Blondie - "The Tide is High"



Blondie's "The Tide is High" was on the radio this morning.  I remember Blondie from when her records were first in the charts . . .  :(

However, and not wanting to make it sound like I'm always knocking local radio, I did think it an odd choice for the presenter to play as he talked over the tune's instrumental intro . . . talking about the recent flooding in Cornwall . . .


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Monday 15 November 2010

"Safety is . . . "

I've posted a couple of times about things said on my local BBC radio station, Berkshire (here's the most recent: http://the-ride-info.blogspot.com/2010/10/open-prison.html ).

Yesterday morning I had the radio on, and heard possibly the best yet.  The presenter was Debbie McGee, and she was talking to a fireworks supplier about health and safety, during which she said:




"Safety is a double-edged sword"
 
Errr . . . really?
 
Well, if you say so.  But it reminded me of a badge I found many years ago, one Sunday morning during a BMF-RTS training session based at a local school.
 
Very simply, the button badge stated:
 
"Be safe with fireworks"
 
So ever since then I've made a point of carrying fireworks in order to be safe.
 
 
 
 
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Friday 5 November 2010

World's Fastest Mobility Scooter



Yes, a World Record!

The fastest mobility scooter in the World - powered by a 125cc motocrosser engine!


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Monday 1 November 2010

DSA - No more theory test Q&A availability

Latest update from the DSA:

DSA to stop publishing questions used in theory tests
  • Candidates need to understand theory
  • End to memorising answers
  • Unpublished questions used from 1 January 2012
The Driving Standards Agency is to stop publishing the multiple choice questions and answers used in theory tests, Road Safety Minister Mike Penning announced today.
 
This will help to ensure that new drivers learn the principles behind driving theory rather than just learning answers.
 
The move follows the introduction of independent driving into the driving test and the DSA's decision to stop publishing test routes in October 2010, to make sure the test assesses a learner's ability to drive and not their capacity to memorise routes.
 
Mike Penning said: “The driving theory test should help to prepare drivers for real life on the road - good driving is not just about vehicle-handling skills, but also about having the knowledge and understanding of safe driving theory.
 
“No longer publishing these questions and answers will mean that successful candidates will have to understand the theory rather than simply memorising answers.
 
“I believe that this - along with the other changes we are making to the driving test regime - will lead to better drivers and safer roads.”
 
In September 2011 DSA will change the format of books and other learning materials available to help people prepare for theory tests. This will take place at the same time as more challenging case studies are introduced to car and motorcycle theory tests.
 
Then, from 1 January 2012, DSA will create theory tests using questions which will not be published.
 
Practice questions and answers, not used in theory tests, will still be available to help candidates with revision.
 
Other companies which publish products containing DSA theory test questions will also no longer have access to the questions used in the tests.

 

 
 
What I find of concern with this is that some of the multi-choice questions are, well, 'odd'.  May favourite example is - for car drivers [probably] - this:
"What should you do when driving into a tunnel?"
 
I won't give you the full list of options, but the answer is 'Turn on your car radio' . . .
 
I can assure you that I didn't know that until I read a theory test Q&A book!
 
 
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